Binge Eating

I do it.  Maybe you do it.  I know a lot of us out there do it.  It’s horrible.  It’s horrible even when you’re in the middle of it.  All that guilt and ill-feeling and self-loathing and for what… so you can pack your face?  Bleah.

That’s where I’ve been for the past month.  I have different triggers.  When I feel lonely, isolated, unheard and those feelings pile up… when I don’t have enough time for myself, when my marriage isn’t in its best shape… When Mini Terrorist is being exhaustingly difficult all day… yeah.  Those days. Those are the days where before or after dinner I end up in the kitchen stuffing my face over and over and over again.  I hate it.

Two days ago, I made myself promise and get real that I was totally done with it.  I feel awful in my own skin and I’m worth more than this and what the heck kind of example am I?  Yesterday was perfect.  No binge-eating period.  I gave myself a one day long Shakeology cleanse and that was that. I fell asleep feeling hungry (like we’re supposed to), slept WAY better than I have been and best of all, yesterday didn’t end in any self-deprecating thinking.  WOOHOO!

Today was harder.  I almost fell off the wagon.  However, one of the best tools that I know of when this is setting in is to GET YOURSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!  So I did.  I took Mini to the park.

There are times where you’re going to really have to fight yourself to get out the door and it’s easy to make excuses.  You’re too tired, you’re not wearing makeup, you haven’t showered… put on a hat and just get out.  Even if you’re just driving around aimlessly for an hour – it seriously helps.  And actually, driving around listening to your happy music can do wonders for your soul!  You just need to find something else to fill you up other than food.  



So, as I shared earlier, I had some hard stuff go on with my marriage and subsequently started eating like crap.  Seriously, a lot of binge-eating and emotional eating going on up in this bitch. Most of what I was eating was sugar which explains my fatigue and feeling like a giant slug.  Blarf.

I’ve been afraid of the scale.  I’m not usually one to put too much stock into what the scale has to say, but every now and then ya know.. I like to check in.  Lately, I haven’t wanted to.  Today, I confirmed why not.  I stepped on the damn thing.

The scale is a mean bitch.

According to the scale, my crappy eating habits as of late have resulted in a 10 lb weight gain.  Now I am sure a lot of this is water retention and maybe I have put on some muscle with P90X2 but still… the scale read 10 lb higher.  Crap.

So of course, this same day, my family decides to go down to the pier and get our fish & chips on…

Okay, probably not the best way to celebrate this morning’s ‘eff you’ from the scale but whatever.  We needed a family day and I am watching the rest of my calories like a hawk.  Thankfully, this morning did start with a Turbo Fire HIIT workout followed by P90X2 Total Body and there was a lot of walking down by the water so that does calm my nerves a little bit…

The fish & chips were totally worth it in terms of they were part of a day out with my family.  Tomorrow, however, starts some hardcore back on track counting every calorie and banning sugar business.  Seriously.  I worked way too hard the last year to let this shit happen.

Sigh… I guess this is a really good lesson.  No matter how strong you get in your resolve, life can still turn everything upside down and slap you in the face.  All we can do is ride the wave and the mop up after it.  Motivational crap aside, it still sucks.

Happiness in a Glass

If you are familiar with my blog or follow me on Facebook, then you probably know by now that I’m obsessed with Shakeology.  And if you don’t follow me on Facebook, why the hell not? – GET ON THERE! Ya know, for daily motivation and stuff.  Okay, what was this supposed to be about again?  Oh yeah, Shakeology.

Most people I talk to want to lose weight.  Like right now.  No, scratch that, yesterday.  They want all of their monster trucking fat gone with a quickness.  They want to know how I lost it all. Well, there were 2 piece to that equation: Turbo Fire (obviously) and chocolate Shakeology.

See, I’m an emotional eater and a binge eater.  If I’m feeling emotionally shaky, I make up for it in food.  Some people say that emotional eating happens because food becomes their friend and food doesn’t judge, it just makes them feel good.  Maybe I’m weird, but emotional and binge eating makes me feel like crap.  Even while I’m doing it.  Because I know what I’m doing and I hate it.  It’s gross.  And it makes our groceries get super expensive… sorry husband!  Hmmm, I think this calls for a Jabba picture.

Okay, that was pregnancy Jabba but whatever, same diff.  

Shakeology actually knocked that behavior right off.  A lot of people use it for breakfast and I do too.  It’s a great breakfast because you get a shit ton of nutrients all at once and it keeps you full.  But one of the awesome things about chocolate ShakeO is that it TASTES LIKE IT IS REALLY CHOCOLATE.  I’ve tried a lot of meal replacement shakes – Slim Fast, Visalus, Advantage… all of them either tasted like the inside of the can or just weren’t satisfying.  That’s like giving a Lean Cuisine to an overeater.  Really??? Why don’t you throw a rock in their face too?

I could blend ShakeO with a frozen banana and some almond butter and get ice cream.  I could blend it with some vanilla almond milk and ice ad make a milk shake.  I could roll it up with oats and peanut butter and make… something similar to brownies… but the point is, I only started making one trip to the kitchen after dinner and then I was fine.  Maybe because for once, what I was putting in my body was actually nutritious so my body knew what to do with the calories?  No idea.  Whatevs, I’ll take it.

The other awesome thing about Shakeology is that most of us would rather gnaw off our own hand than eat veggies.  Seriously.  I hate most of them too, though I’ve become better at forcing myself to eat them.  ShakeO fills in that gap.  Seriously, read the back of a ShakeO bag – they aren’t joking in the advertisement when they say it’s like 9 trips to the salad bar.  And them some because what effing salad bar actually has superfoods?  Other than some brown mushy avocado?  The energy boost you get is insane!  

No idea how readable that actually is, but you can see that it’s a pretty big list of nutrients, huh?  

Okay, so that’s my shpeal.  Try this shit, seriously.  Just replace one of your meals with it and you’ll notice a difference.  Well, at first you’ll probably notice some gas – but that’s what happen when you eat a lot of fruits and veggies.  Ever hit up a juice bar and get a big ol’ veggie cocktail?  Your insides turn into a water park.  I think it’s a detoxy kinda thing.  I don’t know, I just like it because I feel like I’m losing weight.  I don’t care if it’s water!!!  

You can order Shakeology HERE (that means click on “here”) and I really recommend ordering it HD (or monthly-autoship) and here’s why.  It’s expensive, yes.  A lot of people look at the price and are like WTF!?  Well, considering all that’s in it… and considering that you’re paying for a month’s worth of meals all at once, it’s actually a pretty monster trucking good deal.  When you order it HD, you get free shipping so you save a little money!  Word up!  That doesn’t mean you have to get it every month.  In fact, this is how most of us who use a lot of Beachbody’s supplements work the system (because fo’real, who wants to pay for shipping?).  After you get your bag, you just email and tell them to cancel that shit.  And they don’t even try to upsell you or anything, they just cancel it.  Right freaking on.  

I’m not into writing salesy blog posts, I’m really not.  But this shit really is amazing.  Anything that can help this girl lose 170 lb in a year I can get behind.  So treat your body right and get on this fat blasting ShakeO train!!!

And P.S. Happy 4th of July!


For most of us, taking a recovery day in our workout week makes us feel guilty.  We should be pushing hard and full intensity and scorching fat or improving our performance right?  I’m guilty of this mindset myself. 

The problem is, when you’re pushing your body to the max every single day without rest, you run the risk of overtraining.  Overtraining isn’t an obvious thing.  You don’t suddenly feel your body overdoing it, it’s subtle and it can creep up on you.  You may not even notice that your body has been overtrained for quite a while and then BAM! You’re injured.  

So that you can feel less guilty about taking a day to stretch and recover, here’s what recovery does for you!

When you’re not exercising, your body is rebuilding and strengthening itself.  It’s refilling energy stores and rebuilding damaged tissue.  When you are exercising, you’re breaking down muscle tissue so recovery gives your body the chance to rebuild and the next time you workout after taking a recovery day, you’ll be stronger.  If you don’t take time to recover, then your tissues continue to breakdown and then you enter the realm of overtraining.  Bad.

Recovery also optimizes protein synthesis – increasing the protein content in your muscle cells, preventing breakdown and increasing your muscle size.  This is why recovery drinks are so good after a workout (P90X R&R – hello!?).  Drinks like R&R help this process along so your muscles can grow.  

And… you want those muscles to grow!  If you’re a woman, that doesn’t mean you’re going to bulk up.  We don’t do that, at least not without the help of drugs.  More muscle means higher metabolism – meaning you can eat more food and not pay for it as much because muscles burn calorie even when you’re NOT exercising!!!

So please, don’t skip recovery!  Your body will thank you for it and your results will be better because of it!

X2: Balance and Power

So, a few weeks ago, I started P90X2.  On June 4th, to be anal about it.  At first, I really didn’t like it so much.  I’ve gotten so used to workouts like Les Mills and Turbo that are set to music that doing something like P90X is difficult for me to get into because of well, lack of soul.  I just need music!  I need that beat to keep me going and wanting to keep going.  

The other reason I wasn’t liking it so much was because it focuses a lot on one of my apparently very weak areas: balance.  I **thought** I had reasonably decent core strength prior to starting X2.  Apparently, I’m full of sh**.  So, the first week of X2 was a large helping of humility shoved down my throat.

The next week, I started to tolerate it more.  I knew what to expect and my husband had agreed to do some of the workouts with me every week so we could have some bonding time so that helped with motivation also.  I was starting to like X2 Core.  X2 Total Body still kicked my butt, but I knew what was coming so I could try more.  I still hated X2 Balance and Power.  That particular workout brings out every single weak area in my body and quite frankly, I don’t want to spend all that time hanging out with my weaknesses but, this is how we grow so I force myself through it.

Today is week 4’s Balance and Power.  I am extending Phase 1 to 6 weeks because this is such a weak area for me and Zac jumped in late.  I spent 3x as much times foam rolling as Tony gives you in the workout and found some amazing spots on the back of my knee that made the front of my knee stop hurting – trippy but cool!  

Something happened today.  I was able to balance on the stability ball – something I definitely could not do last week.  I was able to feel my muscles firing in synergy, activating and holding me up and letting me move while balancing in ways that I hadn’t experienced before.  People want to have those spiritual moments where they connect with a higher power and feel that connection to God and to the Earth and to life… but I think there should be more emphasis on feeling that with your body and that’s what I experienced today in my workout.  Being able to focus inward and experience my body responding and performing was amazing and grounding and gave me an extreme appreciation for the human body and how it was intended to perform.  We do so much damage to ourselves with sitting curved over all day and hanging out on the couch and eating a ton of crap… Knock it off.  Give yourself a chance to feel what it is to function properly and lift and move the way you were intended to… it’s pretty monster trucking cool.

Anyway, Balance and Power is a hard ass workout.  One thing that definitely makes it a little more charming in my eyes is the fact that it can take my ex-body building husband and turn him into this:

It’s pretty satisfying to see him sweaty and spent.  🙂

By the end of the workout, actually, we’re both pretty sweaty and spent.  It’s an odd thing to see your body steaming.  It isn’t like it’s hot in the room, it’s actually pretty freezing when you walk down there in the morning especially with the tile floors.  Seriously – this is during the last stretch of the workout.  Check out how foggy it is!

And let me tell you – if that right there isn’t reason to pick up a stability ball, I don’t know what is.  That stretch is heavenly!

How to Use a Foam Roller

I wish this was a higher quality video but I can’t find the Flip cam anywhere and I just wanted to get this done while Andy “naps” and he’s sick so my time is limited right now.

A lot of people have heard me talk about foam rolling for recovery and massaging out the knots in your muscles.  Some of you have even gone out and bought one and that’s awesome!  But now you have this cylindrical piece of foam you have no idea what to do with.  Well, it’s really easy.  You basically just roll it around your body and feel where you have sore spots – those are the spots you need to work out!  

Don’t worry, it is totally normal for this to be pretty painful the first few times you try this.  It just means you have a lot of gunk and issues going on in your muscles but now you have a means to take care of all of those!

6 Week Food Makeover Challenge

You may have heard this before or seen this meme on Pinterest.  It’s absolutely true.  You can workout all you want but if you aren’t eating right, you’re not going to lose the fat.  Exercise gives us shape, diet is what takes the fat off.  And that doesn’t mean go on a diet either.  Diets have expiration dates and what do we all do after they end? Welp, we go back to eating like we were.  Because didn’t you miss cake and fries?  Real sustainable weight loss requires a lifestyle change.  And that doesn’t mean you have to give up cake or french fries or any of that good stuff.  It just means you have to learn how to eat well overall.
So starting July 16th, that is exactly what we are going to do.

I am forming a challenge group that will be held on Facebook in a private group.  I will provide you with support, direction, mini challenges, motivation and love. Your responsibility will be to show up, to check in and to take charge of your eating. All changes that I will ask you to make will be realistic. This might be emotional and it might be hard, but we don’t get to experience change without getting uncomfortable and let’s face it… are you really comfortable with your body right now?  If you are, that’s great! I’m so happy for you! But if you aren’t… then it’s time to move out of that comfort zone.

Here are my rules.

  1. You have to truly be committed to this.  I want people who seriously want to get track on food and seriously want to change their bodies.  We are holding each other up here so I don’t want anyone who is going to flake – that hurts the support system that we need to form to stay on track.  So seriously think about this.
  2. For this entire 6 weeks, you must check in everyday AT LEAST once a day, more often is preferable.  This is your support and your motivation.  The more you reach out, the more we can have each other’s backs.  The more we support each other, the more we keep each other on track.
  3. I am requiring Shakeology on this one.  Now I know, it’s expensive but I want you to think about something before you say you can’t afford it.  Is that really true?  Is there something else you are spending money on you probably don’t need to be that you could put that money toward something that is so incredibly good for your body?  If it’s your morning Starbucks, knock it off.  I can show you how to make a Shakeology Frappuccino.  Having ShakeO in the mix makes this SO EASY! That’s your breakfast right there! BAM! One less meal to have to think about.  I absolutely recommend ordering HD (monthly autoship) Shakeology BECAUSE a. you get free shipping so you save some money.  b. You’re going to be on this challenge for more than one month so you are saving shipping 2 months in a row and c. WE WILL BE DOING A SHAKEOLOGY CLEANSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS CHALLENGE so this ensures that you have enough. Also – you can cancel the HD any time with an email to no questions asked.  It does not matter what flavor you get, but I would recommend getting the bag over the packets – you get more servings. You can get Shakeology from my site: or my ShakeO site: OR from the Team Beachbody store.  Shakeology seriously changed my whole world.  It is responsible along with Turbo Fire for much of my weight loss and if you don’t believe me, well, check out Team Beachbody because I was the March Team Beachbody Challenge Shakeology winner.  What up!
  4. I must be your Team Beachbody coach to be in on this challenge! If you do not have a Team Beachbody account, you can sign up through my site at and click join.  A free membership will suffice.  If you do have an account, you can set me as your coach by emailing and asking them to set your coach as TurboRachel, coach ID 128848.
  5. There is absolutely no negative self-talk or putting each other down allowed in this group.  We are here together to nurture and lift each other up.  This is about support and part of that means supporting yourself.  Supporting yourself is about learning how to talk to yourself in a positive way. Changing our eating habits goes along with changing how we treat ourselves – our whole selves.  There are a lot of dimensions to food and a lot of what we use food for is often emotional.  Learning how to treat ourselves kindly helps eliminate our need to emotionally eat.
So if you want to join me on this, please email me at with the subject reading “July Food Challenge” and I will tell you how to join.  I am limiting the amount of challengers to 10 and it is first come, first serve but PLEASE, I ask again: MAKE SURE YOU ARE WILLING TO COMMIT 100%.  This is serious business and we all make ourselves vulnerable by entering into a challenge like this.  Your being there is a link in the chain of support. So let’s help each other be strong, stay on track and do this. 

What I Do

I think it’s probably pretty obvious by now that along with an obsession with Turbo and all things Chalene Johnson, I’m also a Beachbody coach.  As part of the Beachbody Tribe, I am committed to helping end the trend of obesity.  

Initially, I signed on as a coach for the 25% discount.  Since I discovered P90X, I’ve been hooked on Shakeology and R&R so I figured I might as well save some money and upgrade my account.  One thing led to another and people started noticing my progress photos and asking me for advice and of course, I started giving it.  Before I knew it, I was using my “coach” tag as more than just a means to save a little money, I was actively coaching.  And I love it.  

It’s more than just earning a weekly check.  In fact, most of what I do is for free but it is nice to see that weekly deposit in my bank account.  It’s about being part of something amazing. Being part of a team that’s like family…

(That’s a small portion of the Team Matrix crew and of course, there’s my daughter team – Team Athena)

It’s about having the power to reach out with tools to help other people get on board.  To give people who are fumbling in the dark a place to feel safe and feel supported. To help people who are struggling with being overweight because if you’ve been there, you know.  It can be desperate and it can be painful in so many ways.  I get that.  I’ve been there.  So to me, it’s about paying it forward.

And it’s about being part of an amazing force of people all committed to ending the trend of obesity in the U.S.  We can all do it.  And we can all pay it forward.  

I have a couple of selfish reasons for doing it too.  It makes my journey public which keeps me accountable – I have to stop and think before reaching for that cupcake: what kind of behavior am I modeling?  And when I reach for it anyway, it forces me to fess up and get back on track.  That’s not something I’ve ever had before and let me tell you, IT WORKS.  Oh man, if you want to keep yourself out of the kitchen, start coaching and start blogging.  Then you feel like everyone is watching and everyone is going to be there with you on your binge.  It stops you before it starts and in case it doesn’t, when you share it, it helps you prevent the next one.

Another selfish reason is that you get to go to Beachbody Coach Summit.  You get to meet amazing people who are on similar journeys.  And you get to meet the people that become your heroes.  Check this out:

My hero, Chalene Johnson:

And the icon himself, Tony Horton:

Some of the Les Mills Pump crew:
Working out with 5,000 other members of the tribe:

To Shaun T (and other trainers) Live

And getting to party with all of those people at an extremely swank shindig:

Just sayin’, Summit is a pretty awesome experience.  

If you’re at the point of your journey where you think you’d like to pay it forward and want to be part of an amazing team, then join up with me and Team Matrix.  Commit with us to ending the trend of obesity and join our tribe.  It’s worth every bit of work you put into it.  And even if you’re not at that point where you’re ready to pay it forward, you can still join for the discount!  

To join on my team, click here:
Then email me – and let me know!  I would love to have you be part of my family! Nothing would mean more to me in this world.  So, DECIDE! COMMIT! And of course, SUCCEED! 

Sometimes Life Slaps You in the Face

A lot has been going on lately.  I’ve felt like I’ve had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I am not strong enough to lift it off.  I’ve been facing a really huge challenge in my marriage.  Out of respect for my husband, I’m not going to go into the details but it’s affected our whole family and I’ve felt extremely helpless.  So of course, I have no self control with food.  

There was a period of 5 whole days where I ate nothing but candy.  On day 5, I had so much insulin in my system and my muscles were spasming so intensely, I ended up calling 911 to have an ambulance come because I was certain I was having a heart attack.  It was basically the result of malnutrition causing extremely painful muscle spasms in my chest and back.  Okay, lesson learned.

My eating improved a bit, but it has been difficult to let go of the candy.  When life turns up side down, it seems like your resolve to maintain a healthy lifestyle and limit calories and eat clean goes out the window.  I have, however, been making myself workout everyday no matter what.  I am starting to get a grip on things.  It’s very true – willpower comes from more than just self-insistance on staying out of the kitchen (I may have made up a word there).  When life is spinning out of control, it tends to disappear no matter how hard you try to tell yourself to sit on your hands and not break into that pack of Reeses.

On a more positive note, this weekend my husband and I are in Las Vegas at Beachbody Coach Summit.  It is extremely powerful to be around this many people, all with the same passion about fighting obesity and all with the same amount of appreciation for Beachbody changing their lives.  I got to meet my hero.  I got to talk to her and hug her.   I got to tell her about Turbo Positive and she was proud of me.  I will post the picture of me with Chalene once they are posted (they didn’t let us take our own) but I can post her autograph on my Turbo Fire!

We also got to meet some of the Les Mills Pump crew, which was pretty cool.  I was actually quite surprised at how warm and friendly they were.  We hugged and there was actually squeeze to the hugs, like we were actually people to them.  This is Zac, my husband, and I with Joel, Susan and Ben from Les Mills:

One more trainer picture – Zac snuck this picture of me with Tony Horton.  Because of the long lines for meeting Shaun T, Tony Horton and Chalene Johnson; security wouldn’t let us take our own pictures but my husband is the effing sniper paparazzi.

This morning was a really powerful experience.  All 5,000 coaches here at Summit went outside to workout together in the sun to make a statement about fighting obesity.  To be with this many people, all digging deep and bringing it… there aren’t words for the experience.  It was incredible – the feeling of unity and passion for the mission.

5,000 people (well, except me since I was taking a picture) all doing Warrior 3.

When we get back from Vegas tomorrow, I’m starting a new leaf.  My fire has been relit and I am going to put forth as much effort as possible as getting myself OFF of the sugar and back to clean eating.  I’m really starting to realize right now how addicted to sugar and coffee I’ve become and I can feel it in my entire body.  My head hurts, I’m fatigued constantly and I am not sleeping well.  This can’t continue… but I guess it had to happen.  Sometimes, all we can do is cope the best we can so long as at some point we can snap out of it, wake up and push ourselves back on track.

My Special Present For You!

So, I’m (obviously) a Turbo junkie.  Turbo is how I lost almost all my weight and is how I keep it off.  I’m also a Turbo instructor and I have also been sort of flaky about blogging lately.  I promise after this week, that is going to change.  A lot has been going on and this week ends in my going to Las Vegas for Beachbody Summit (SO EXCITED I CAN HARDLY TAKE IT – CHALEEEEENNNNEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem, I’m okay.) So, as an “I’m sorry, I suck” present, here is a little bonus Turbo workout from moi.  🙂

Turbo Kick Round 48 from Rachel Boller on Vimeo.